How to annoy the Wizarding World
by bliss4me
Summary: Look through the eyes of a Gryffindor girl who can be a lot like Fred and George. These are the things she did to annoy the Witches and Wizards of the Wizarding World I do not own these Characters but J.K
1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary,

People are very annoying yes indeed! BUT the same goes to me especially if I am bored out of my mind. And when I am bored I am like Fred and George…well not to the extreme I do love to pull on pranks though! SO I am not going to be biased at all. I will pull pranks, or be mean, or annoying to every house. Let's just say that I should belong to every house. I can be sly, manipulative, and mean when provoked, but not like a Dragon more so a Bull. I am extremely loyal, always willing to give a helping hand to anyone in need. I am wise but not really smart! But wise with common sense, and I will protect the needy and jump in to help the people I love and care about in a heartbeat! But like I said, I am very bored and I have friends in every house. SO you be the judge after you read the list I did to everyone if I am evil or conniving. And to be frank…I am surprised I am still alive to this day. Anyways this is the list on how to annoy the Witch's and Wizards in the Wizarding world.

So one day I was really really really mad at Draco, Pansy, and Blaise. I hate Pansy with a passion and the feelings are mutual. However, I am good friends with Draco and Blaise even though this begs Harry and Ron with a passion. Anyway I cursed them all and said "You are on my hit list for a week Slytherin prince's and your ugly fat toad too." So I am going to condense this short for you Diary! Keep in mind though every house is loyal to their house mate. This is how to annoy the Slytherins:

I screamed at Pansy in front of everyone and said "Pansy you are so ugly inside and out that Bellatrix Lastrange makes you look like a pimply fat ogre! GAH I can't believe I am giving a compliment to this wasted trash, but its true Bellatrix is a lot prettier than you!

I had Luna, Ginny, Lavander, and Dean run around in Slytherin clothes acting like idiots with me in the Hallways, classrooms, and Great Hall. We were stopped and I said "Oh well…We thought Crabbe and Goyle represented you guys!"

Draco said something really mean to my friends really mean so in the classroom I stood up and said "Wake up and smell the Daisies everyone knows that there will be no such thing as pureblood race anymore! Half-bloods and muggleborns UNITE!"

MWAHAHAHA I was so bored one day in Ancient Runes that I put a Death Mark on every Slytherins arm. Let's just say I was sick for a week after that incident

One day I was really getting annoyed with Snape with his slyness and taking points from my house. I do have a good relationship though because he is my dad's best friend. One day I saw him with a group of Slytherins and they were chatting it up with Dumbledore, McGonegal and Flitwick. I ran up to them glaring daggers! "I really do not appreciate you taking points from my house plus detention! Especially when your precious lil ones did the exact same thing BUT worse, and all they have to do is lousy sentences! I am on to you! I know that You professor Snape run the quarters of Slytherin, and that you're the Godfather!" I then turned to Draco "So…did he give you an offer that you could not refuse?" Then I stormed off! I knew he was mad because he wouldn't talk to me! He was embarrassed HA! But when he is mad so are the slytherins hehe.

Dumbledore told me to cool it down a bit and I said fine, but one last thing this will drive them insane. Dumbledore said as long as it won't break into fights. I told him I can't make any promises! I could tell from the look in his eye that he was not pleased by my response. Anyway remember what I told you what Hermione did with D.A. If someone snitched? Well I did a similar approach. I had a jinx that won't go away for a month unless they say Muggleborns are just the same as purebloods. They refused! So they had a lightning bolt scar on their forehead for a Month! This didn't please Harry either, and he would not speak to me for a couple of days..


	2. Chapter 2

OMG I decided to cool it down for a few months until the end of the year! Do this if you want to annoy staff members at Hogwarts

Keep making a mess to piss off Filch

Everytime Trelawney walks by scream "you're in graaaaave daaaaanger!"

If McGonagal is in her anigamus form release the hounds on her.

Howl at the moon every few minutes when Lupin is teaching. Although this really pissed off the Trio

Pull on Dumbldore's Beard. Better yet pull on Hagrid's beard.

Spread a rumor that Dumbledore and McGonagel have a love child together

Spread a rumor that Snape and Dumbledore are secretly dating

Tell slughorn that you overheard Snape talking to Dumbledore that he is trying to recruit you to be a Death Eater.

Decorate Snapes room with the Count. The Count bed sheets, pillows, poster, and doll from Sesame Street. Because we all secretly know that he is a BAT erm Vampire!

Every time Trelawney says some stupid prophecy yell and say "Shut up! Centaurs are way better at predicting things than you are!"

Tell miss Sprout that Herbology is not important, and should have never been taught at Hogwarts

Say to Flitwick that you found him a new friend. "I found him in Loopaland! Don't worry he does not have a disease it is normal to have orange skin where they live." (I know reaaaallly mean on my part )

Whenever Snape turns around with his coat say "Toooo the Batcave!" then turn to Draco! "Hey Robin I think he needs your help!"


	3. Chapter 3

Uggg Diary I am mad! SO Snape told my dad everything. My dad can't handle me, but he is trying his best. SO he made me volunteer at the Ministry of Magic! Big MISTAKE.. I am against the Ministry ever since they denied Voldemort is coming back, and made Harry look like an idiot! SO I did stuff to annoy the crap out them }:D

I couldn't think of anything to start with… until they had me answer letters and this is what popped in my head. MWAHAHAHA so I sent them fan letters and signed it with a muggle name.

Don't do this but at this point I was mad. Write a professional letter, but don't let Schrimmager know about it. Because well I forged his name! I sent it to everyone, and it said that he was resigning, and that Dolores Umbridge was going to be the new minister of magic. Let's just say that I was not responsible for the suicide attempts.

After the letter scream and panic and say "IS IT TRUE! IS IT TRUE THAT UMBRIDGE IS GOING TO BE THE NEW MINISTER OF MAGIC? NO0O0O0O0O0O!" make sure you do this 2 weeks after the letter was sent

In the meeting say "Man this place is going down in the dumps." When you have everyone's attention say "Don't worry it won't…Dumbledore will take over!"

Scream "I swear you lot are under the imperious curse! You are doing so many idiotic stupid things that you people normally won't do! No wonder why this place is really going down! WE NEED DUMBLEDORE!" and make sure you look at Fudge while saying it. Even though he is no longer the minister it is sometimes nice to rub some salt in old wounds.

Change Umbridge's office. Change the pink walls to poop brown, and take all the kitty pictures down, and replace it with dogs, snakes, and insects.

When you leave make sure to hex the whole place. Water leakage in all rooms


	4. Chapter 4

Want to know another Slytherin trait that I have? I can't learn to forgive and forget. I still like to hold grudges although Mione is helping me on it. I can't stand Cho! So when I saw her with another guy I was livid! TRAMP! Yeah she may be a supporter of Harry, but she knows how to manipulate situations and it really bothered me that everyone followed her around like some goddess, and was quickly on her side to her rescue. I hate all Ravenclaws! Snooty bastards! Except for Luna I love her

Go to the Ravenclaw table and say "Look it is your lovely Tramp mascot Cho Chang"

When you walk into class sharing it with Ravenclaw and they walk in yell NERDS!

Have Luna exchange all books with comic books and adventure stories. I hexed every book this is what you get for hiding Luna's stuff

Tell them only slyness and bravery can survive this world not smarts and kindness

Make Cho cry by bringing up Cedric. Say first Cedric, then Harry, and now this smarty pants? No wonder why Cedric died he saw it a mile away!" All Ravenclaws were really upset with me after this. Harry was pissed when he heard what happened and made me apologize. For once, I actually meant it! I felt bad only because I brought Cedric up, and I miss him a lot. (This was really mean eek)

When dozing off in class put the dark mark on their arms. I was in hiding for the weekend

Say that Luna Lovegood is smarter and wiser than you lot. Everything she said is true and real


	5. Chapter 5

Okay I don't know what is up with the Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff males seem so arrogant! For some reason I can handle rudeness than snootiness. That is probably why I almost slapped Narcissa once. Anyway my feelings are the same with Hufflepuff like Ravenclaw although I adore Hannah and Susan. They are sweet girls so I told them that this is not directed to you guys but the annoying boys and immature girls in your house.

Tell them they are a bunch of wimps

Tell them smarts and kindness will take you no where only slyness and bravery.

Tell them that they are dumb

Put a death mark on their arms…laugh when they scream and cry

Stop kissing up to people no one likes you (not true… out of all the houses besides Gryffindor I know that I can rely on them. Why do you think I love Hannah and Susan! They are very loyal people)

Make them cry! It is actually easy…But I must say I was proud of hufflepuff. I smirked when they got all mad at me and hexed me after making a few of them cry. Never underestimate loyalty among your friends. I said "I knew you had it in you" and walked away.


	6. Chapter 6

I love Harry, Ron, and Mione to death and Neville. But some are really annoying and stupid and should not be in our house. Just saying! BUT because I am extremely loyal and we are in the same house I will stand up for them. Unless they are just plain jerks, but I was really ornery today. This is what I did to annoy Gryffindors.

Wear green

Have an entrance theme whenever Harry enters the room. (Because you know he looooves having attention brought onto himself)

Have a theme song for the trio

Scream top of your lungs that Slytherins are not that bad, and that you want to Marry Draco Malfoy

Cheer on the Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw quiddtich teams. This was my protest when they did not allow Harry and Ron play! But it pissed them off anyway…

Say that the D.A. is the most stupid thing ever created (although I wished I thought of it :/ )

Say Godric Gryffindor is a woos

Tell the ones that are timid that they should belong in Hufflepuff because they only accept bravery here. I got slapped when I said that…Harry told me to stop and control my emotions better. So I am trying just for him.


	7. Chapter 7

Diary I am really sad right now. The three men I trusted in I no longer trust! It appears that Draco was right all along. I thought he was just in one of those moods, but my dad is a Death Eater and I could not understand why Dumbledore really pushed me to help Draco succeed. I was part of the plot that I did not know of. I saw my god brother ready to threaten Dumbledore, My dad encouraging him and a DEATH EATER, and in a blink of an eye I saw Snape just kill Dumbledore. My dad grabbed me and fled to the Malfoy Manor. I was speechless. I went to Dumbeldore's funeral and told Harry everything. He told me to get out as soon as you can. I left and a month has passed and it was fun to get to know some of the Death Eaters. I finally got the courage to annoy them. Do you know why? The Dark Lord would make sure I am not touched. Apparently I am his granddaughter YUCK! So I thought up of plan and kept my promise to Harry although this could be a suicide mission for me. How to annoy the Death Eaters:

Sing the Barney song

Wear pink

Ask them "Who's your daddy? Yes that's right Voldemort is." Surprisingly Voldemort had that weird laugh and an amusement twinkle in his eyes. Creep mode. (picture the laugh he did when he announced Harry is dead in the movie)

Drop off gifts at the manor. The gifts will have support harry mugs, hats, shirts, and posters.

Send them muggle stuff

After the meeting and voldemort left tell all the Death Eaters that they don't have a chance! You will either die in the battle, be killed by the hands of Voldemort for doing something stupid, or having his major episodes, OR when Harry wins you will be thrown in Azkaban. So choose your pick wisely.

Decorate the room with happy vibrant colors and stuff animals.

Say that being a pureblood is overrated and that the new thing is interracial ling blood status. Half-bloods will overrun the wizarding world.

Say you spotted the trio at such and such. Wait until they all leave free the prisoners, jinx the manor, put all the weasley toys in every room and apperate everyone to another country.

And last make sure it is hidden so they can't find it, but have an alarm set every hour to chime the words "You will go down because Harry will win and this will be Voldy's actual downfall."

The end XOXOXOX


End file.
